Children Greatest Loves and Greatest Pains

So I woke up this morning and had no voice.  My son David asked me what happened to my voice I told him that I did not feel good and my voice was lost.  He turns and hollors to his brothers "HEY MOM IS SICK AND DOES NOT HAVE A VOICE THAT MEANS WE CAN DO WHAT WE WANT AND SHE CAN'T HOLLOR AT US!"  All I could think was "I don't hollor at them that much." Within 5 minutes of this thought Jacob with playing with the lamp post that he has played with 100's of time and gotten in trouble for it 100's of times.  I turned to hollor at him to let the post go and leave it alone as I always do, only this time I could not hollor but I also saw that David was right I was going to hollor over something as simple as a lamp.

I can remember being pregnant with Holden and wondering if I could have an instruction manual...I was terrified to know that this small child was going to be dependant on me for everything and that I would be his greatest influence in shaping his values.  I would be the one that had to make sure he knew that he was loved unconditionally.  I can remember feeling terrified and extremely overwhelmed.  Now eight years and 4 children later I am telling you I am still terrified and even more overwhelmed.  I am beginning to wonder if that will ever change.  I have been told that no matter how old they get you always try to help them and you always worry over them. 

Being a mom is the hardest, scariest, most overwhelming, single best job that I have ever had.  When I see my children helping each other it brings a joy to my heart like no other.  To share a story earlier this year Holden was having a problem with a bully in school.  Michael had a serious heart to heart with Holden and told him that he was going to have to stand up for himself.  He had to tell the teachers what was going on but he also had to stand up and not let another kid push him around.  So after this little heart to heart on the way to school the next morning Holden looks at me and says "Mama I am not going to let @#$%^ (meant to stand for the name) bully me."  "Good Holden" Luke looked at Holden and said "Bubba who is bullying you I can come punch his lights out." David and Jacob are sitting in the back seat saying "That's right we can punch his lights out" and "No body better mess with my bubba."  The only thing that I could think of was oh this is great I am going to get a call from the principal because a Kindergartener, 2 Pre-K's and a 3rd grader took out another kid.  LOL Needless to say I defused the situation, but it did my heart good to know that my sons were willing to stand united against someone hurting one of them.

I guess the reason for this posting is to give all parents a boost.  When we are pregnant we get to hear all kinds of stories about how to be a good parent.  Then when our children are born you are given all sorts of advice from family and friends.  So I will give you some advice as well, we as parents know our children better than anyone else.  We know their fears, what makes them smile and we wipe the tears away when something is hurt.  No one knows your children like you do, so trust your heart when it comes to your children.  Do what you feel is right for them.  Sometimes you will be right sometimes you will be wrong, but that is part of being a parent.  We make mistakes and learn from them.  I have had to apologize to my children for making mistakes, but the greatest thing is they forgive me and go on loving me anyway.  So for those parents out there teach your children about God's love as well as your love.  That is the single greatest gifts that we as parents can give our children.

This is Me!!!!

So some of my friends have suggested that I should start a blog...so here it is guys and all I can say is that if I bore you to tears just remember you guys asked for it.  So to tell you a little about myself for those that might not know I am a christian mother of four boys 8, 6 and twin 4 year olds.  My husband and I live on a dairy.  He is the dairy manager for the farm and we have about 600 acres of beautiful pasture land with close to 1000 cows (mamas and babies), 5 horses, 4 dogs and 3 cats.  I am from Georgia (born and raised) and my husband is from Texas (he thinks everything is better in TX.  I tend to disagree).  So I have been told that writing a blog can be very therapeutic for the soul.  You pour your heart out and then come to some serious realizations about yourself.  Well I am going to give it a whirl...I am sure that along this journey we will laugh together, cry together and I may even make you mad (If I do it is not intentional, I am just saying what I truly feel). 

So about a actually almost 2 years ago I started trying to make my life healthier.  In the process I lost 40 pounds.  I still had about 15 more to go but over the holidays (meaning Thanksgiving and Christmas) I quit watching what I was eating and have since gained 10 pounds back.  Well I have gone back to excercising and eating correctly I am now determined to lose what went from 15 pounds to 25 but I am going to get it off once and for all.  Over the years I have sturggled with my weight.  My husband has always been my biggest supporter.  If I could not eat sweets he would not eat them either.  I have always used food to comfort me when I was stressed.  I know that I am no different from most people in that aspect but I got so obsessed over it that I truly contemplated bulemia to make myself feel better.  One day I had sat down and eaten a huge portion of double stuffed oreos (that is one of my biggest problems I can't eat just one cookie or just a small slice of cake.  I feel like I have to eat until I can't stand it).  I felt so guilty that I actually got up and headed to the bathroom to throw up the cookies.  I kept thinking I will do it this one time and then I won't ever do something like this agian.  Standing in the doorway of the bathroom I stopped myself I realized that there are probably thousands of women and girls out there that thought the same thing are and are now either dead or in a seriuos battle with an eating disorder.  So I turned around and walked back out.  I asked God to help me deal with my guilt over my eating.  Since that day I have not wanted to make myself sick I have naturally overeaten (everyone does), but now I simply get up and go for a walk or make myself do something else. 

Now don't get me wrong this may not really interest many people out there but I do promise for more humorous post in the future.  I mean seriuosly I live in a household with 5 males and my mother lives right down the hill from me.  You guys know I have to be able to laugh at the challenges in my life or I would just simply have to cry sometimes.  Thank you for taking the time to get to know me, I hope to keep you entertained in the future.